This month's memory verse

Colossians 1:28

Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.

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How do I behave when I disagree?

Key Verse | Acts 15:39

And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus,

Acts 15:36-41

Paul and Barnabas Separate

36After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” 37Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. 38But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. 39Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. 40Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care. 41Then he traveled throughout Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches there.

Footnotes

Skills for Disagreements

Disagreements happen—even between people who love God and each other. It is okay to disagree with someone. Not everyone will think the same or want the same things. What matters, though, is how you disagree. Paul and Barnabas had a sharp argument, but both stayed focused on the mission God had given them, and it continued to move forward.

Today let’s look at how we should act when we disagree with someone through playing the “Two Paths” game.

How to play:

  1. A parent reads a scenario aloud.
  2. Two players pick which side of the scenario they want to defend.
  3. Each player gets 60 seconds to make their case for why their choice is the one that should happen. They should start their defense by saying, “I think/I feel ______ would be best because______.”
  4. Before responding, the other player must repeat back what they heard: “So you think ___ because ___.”
  5. After both sides have spoken, each player says the closing line: “I still think ___, but I understand why you think ___.”
  6. No winner is declared. Move to the next scenario or debrief.

The Rules:

  • No interrupting.
  • No eye-rolling or sighing.
  • You must restate what the other said before you respond.
  • End every round with the closing line. 

The goal is to practice good skills for conflict resolution, not get the right answer or see who’s right or wrong.

Practice

Below are the scenarios to practice.

A note to parents: While it may be tempting to use an existing conflict (like between siblings), it’s best to practice with scenarios that will not rouse an emotional response. The goal is to equip them with the language and skills needed to combat the high emotional response in real conflict.

Scenario 1: You both want to play with the same toy at the same time. One of you thinks you should take turns. The other thinks you should find a way to play with it together.

Scenario 2: It’s family movie night and mom is letting the kids pick. One sibling wants to watch a new movie. The other wants to rewatch a favorite movie.

Scenario 3: You both think the other person should unload the dishwasher. One of you thinks you did it last time. The other thinks that’s not how they remember it.

Scenario 4: A classmate is being left out. One of you thinks your friend group should invite them in even if it changes the group dynamic. The other thinks it’s better to leave them alone.

Scenario 5: One sibling finished their chores fast and the other is still working. One of you thinks the finished one should help. The other person thinks they earned their free time.

Discuss:

  1. Was it hard to listen before you talked back? Why?
  2. Did you feel better or worse after you used the closing line?
  3. What’s the difference between disagreeing and being disrespectful?
  4. Can two people both be right? Can two people both be wrong? 

Pray

Ask God to help you care more about the other person than about winning the argument.
Thank God that he can work through disagreements when our hearts stay focused on him.