February 21, 2019

Don't Be a Peace-Faker!

Genesis 33

Jeff Parker
Thursday's Devo

February 21, 2019

Thursday's Devo

February 21, 2019

Central Truth

Truly reconciled relationships are a beautiful thing to behold. Making peace in our relationships brings blessing to our lives and glory to God. Yet, it won't happen by accident. It takes the hard work of being a peacemaker, and we have to avoid peace-faking and peace-breaking along the way.

Key Verse | Genesis 33:8

Esau said, "What do you mean by all this company that I met?" Jacob answered, "To find favor in the sight of my lord."

Genesis 33

Jacob Meets Esau

And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants. And he put the servants with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Then the servants drew near, they and their children, and bowed down. Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down. And last Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company 1 33:8 Hebrew camp that I met?” Jacob answered, “To find favor in the sight of my lord.” But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” 10 Jacob said, “No, please, if I have found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God, and you have accepted me. 11 Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.” Thus he urged him, and he took it.

12 Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go ahead of 2 33:12 Or along with you.” 13 But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are a care to me. If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die. 14 Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”

15 So Esau said, “Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” 16 So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. 17 But Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built himself a house and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth. 3 33:17 Succoth means booths

18 And Jacob came safely 4 33:18 Or peacefully to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, on his way from Paddan-aram, and he camped before the city. 19 And from the sons of Hamor, Shechem's father, he bought for a hundred pieces of money 5 33:19 Hebrew a hundred qesitah; a unit of money of unknown value the piece of land on which he had pitched his tent. 20 There he erected an altar and called it El-Elohe-Israel. 6 33:20 El-Elohe-Israel means God, the God of Israel

Footnotes

[1] 33:8 Hebrew camp
[2] 33:12 Or along with
[3] 33:17 Succoth means booths
[4] 33:18 Or peacefully
[5] 33:19 Hebrew a hundred qesitah; a unit of money of unknown value
[6] 33:20 El-Elohe-Israel means God, the God of Israel

Dive Deeper | Genesis 33

In my flesh, I'm a peace-faker. Outwardly, I act like I'm okay with someone while inwardly I stew and avoid them. Sometimes, I'll go to great lengths to keep up the charade of reconciliation with them. Yet, my heart grows cold, deteriorating every day I avoid making peace. 

Peace-faking is often subtle, and sometimes we don't recognize it. So what does peace-faking look like? Well, I think it looks much like Jacob's interactions with Esau in Genesis 33. 

First, peace-fakers are fearful, not faithful. Jacob had received the covenantal promises of God (Genesis 28:13-15) and had every reason to be faithful. Still, Jacob remained fearful of Esau (Genesis 32:11). In Genesis 33:1-2, instead of trusting in God's promises, he separated his family as a contingency plan in case Esau attacked him. Jacob placed his favorite people (Rachel and Joseph) furthest away, thus creating an awkward familial hierarchy. No wonder Joseph's brothers hated him! 

Next, Jacob came bowing instead of limping (Genesis 33:3). Great leaders and peacemakers lead from their own brokenness, or, said differently, they lead with their limp. Your limp keeps you humble and reminds others of God's faithfulness in your life in spite of yourself. And if anyone had a limp, it was Jacob (Genesis 32:31)! Yet, he comes bowing, referring to Esau as his lord when he should have come limping and talking about what his real Lord had done in his life. 

Then, Jacob appeases Esau instead of apologizing. It was Jacob's stated plan (Genesis 32:20). Instead of apologizing for deceiving Esau many years ago, he tries to simply appease with gifts. He tries to seek Esau's favor (Genesis 33:10). But peacemakers seek forgiveness first, not favor!

Finally, peace-fakers promise, but don’t perform. Here, Jacob promises Esau he would meet Esau in Seir (Genesis 33:14). Yet, he travels to Succoth instead (Genesis 33:17) and doesn't pursue true reconciliation with his brother as commanded by Christ in Matthew 5:23-24.

Because God loved Jacob, He still strongly supported Jacob, bringing him safely home (Genesis 33:18) as promised. But Jacob missed out on the blessings that true reconciliation brings.

Discussion Questions

1. What is your fleshly default toward relationships, peace-faking or peace-breaking?

2. Do you have a current relationship with someone where you are faking peace? What's one thing you can do today to begin being a peacemaker in that relationship?

3. When is the last time you specifically asked someone, "Will you forgive me?"

4. Have you read Watermark's Conflict Field Guide lately? If not, commit to doing so today!