RECOGNIZING THE HURT WE'VE CAUSED

March 12, 2013

RECOGNIZING THE HURT WE'VE CAUSED

Genesis 42:1-17

Jonathan Pokluda

Central Truth

Hurt is contagious. Often, when we are hurt by someone, we seek revenge as opposed to seeking reconciliation. This only continues the hurt and passes it back and forth, often growing the hurt. We can stop the hurt by recognizing the part we've played in it.

When Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them, but he disguised himself to them and spoke to them harshly. And he said to them, "Where have you come from?" And they said, "From the land of Canaan, to buy food." But Joseph had recognized his brothers, although they did not recognize him. (Genesis 42:7-8)

Joseph's Brothers Go to Egypt

1 When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2 And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3 So ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4 But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with his brothers, for he feared that harm might happen to him. 5 Thus the sons of Israel came to buy among the others who came, for the famine was in the land of Canaan.

6 Now Joseph was governor over the land. He was the one who sold to all the people of the land. And Joseph's brothers came and bowed themselves before him with their faces to the ground. 7 Joseph saw his brothers and recognized them, but he treated them like strangers and spoke roughly to them. “Where do you come from?” he said. They said, “From the land of Canaan, to buy food.” 8 And Joseph recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him. 9 And Joseph remembered the dreams that he had dreamed of them. And he said to them, “You are spies; you have come to see the nakedness of the land.” 10 They said to him, “No, my lord, your servants have come to buy food. 11 We are all sons of one man. We are honest men. Your servants have never been spies.”

12 He said to them, “No, it is the nakedness of the land that you have come to see.” 13 And they said, “We, your servants, are twelve brothers, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan, and behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is no more.” 14 But Joseph said to them, “It is as I said to you. You are spies. 15 By this you shall be tested: by the life of Pharaoh, you shall not go from this place unless your youngest brother comes here. 16 Send one of you, and let him bring your brother, while you remain confined, that your words may be tested, whether there is truth in you. Or else, by the life of Pharaoh, surely you are spies.” 17 And he put them all together in custody for three days.

It was half time at the high school basketball game, and Kyle ran to half court from the stands. He pointed up at me in the bleachers, stuck his chest out and threw his hands up, as if to say "c'mon!" in a taunting manner. Two weeks prior, I had said some terrible things about him and to him. Now it was time for vengeance, and I was in a neighboring town watching a basketball game on his turf. After the game, I went down to see if he was ready to settle the matter. Like the plot in a movie, we went out back under a street lamp with dozens of his fellow students watching and chanting his name. I don't like to think about what happened next. It was the worst beating of my life. I don't remember the last punch or how it stopped, but I was left there lying motionless on the asphalt as a beaten, bloody mess. I was hurt. Bad.

I thought about it every day after and chronic nosebleeds served as a reminder. I wanted revenge. What had started as childish gossip had escalated into a fight, and now it had turned into fantasies of murder in my mind. I couldn't let it go. I was hurt. And hurt people tend to hurt people.

Joseph's brothers didn't even recognize him, the one they had so badly betrayed. Do you recognize the people you have hurt? You have the solution to their pain. It is the forgiveness that we receive through Christ. God has freely forgiven us, so we can freely forgive others and when we hurt someone, we can ask their forgiveness.

What if I had walked down and said, "Kyle, forgive me. I've been a fool." The progression of hurt would have stopped. Instead, I focused on the hurt he caused and didn't recognize my brother's pain. Today, I know that Jesus paid for all the hurt ever caused. However, when I hurt someone, I want to recognize it and seek to make it right.

This was Joseph's opportunity for revenge. Stay tuned.

1. How do you struggle to recognize it when you hurt others?

2. Can you recall those you have hurt in your lifetime?

3. How have you sought them out and asked for their forgiveness?

4. How have you shared the forgiveness you have received in Christ with others?