March 8, 2010
Are yoU A PEACEMAKER OR A PEACE-FAKER?
Matthew 18:15-20
Lindsey Nelson
Central Truth
The Lord does not want us to live in isolation with unresolved hurts. He wants us to confront our conflicts with one another with humility and transparency, bringing in additional folks to provide biblical wisdom and insight when necessary.
Key Verse | Matthew 18:20
"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." (Matthew 18:20)
Matthew 18:15-20
If Your Brother Sins Against You
15 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed 1 18:18 Or shall have been bound shall have been loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Dive Deeper | Matthew 18:15-20
I first heard about biblical conflict resolution when I began attending Watermark. This was a new thing for me. I always avoided conflict and at times still struggle with that! I like peace, even when it sometimes means stuffing my hurts and being a “peace-faker.”
Over time, I have learned that reconciliation is a two-way street:
1. We are to be diligent to approach our brother who is walking in sin. (Matthew 18:15)
2. We are to proactively pursue our brother when we know he has “something against [us].” (Matthew 5:23-24)
Addressing conflict is not easy, but it is how the Lord calls us to live and serve others, to be the light of Christ, and to glorify Him in the process.
I have a dear friend of over 10 years who has pursued me in times of conflict, purely driven by her love for the Lord and me. She has confronted me in private about my sin as this passage instructs. (Matthew 18:15) When things became difficult and emotional, we brought in a third person who could help mediate and provide additional wisdom. (Matthew 18:16)
Because of our commitment to live reconciled, our friendship stands strong today. I am SO grateful for how she pursues me with Christlike love and encourages me to address the hurts in our friendship in a way that is biblical and honoring to the Lord.
Being part of a body of believers that desires to live by God’s Word has stretched and grown my relationships with friends and family and strengthened my relationship with Christ!
Paul perhaps best outlines how we should live as believers, being reconciled to one another. “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, emphasis added)
Discussion Questions
1. How do you typically respond to conflict? Are you a peacemaker or a peace-faker?
2. Think of someone who recently hurt you. Have you resolved that yet? Think of someone whom you have hurt. Have you reconciled that yet?
3. Read over the Peacemaker's Pledge on the Watermark web site: http://www.watermark.org/fileadmin/materials/PeaceMakersPledge_06052006.pdf.
4. What can you do today to begin addressing any unresolved conflict in your life?
FAMILY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How do you respond if someone hurts you?
2. How does Jesus want you to respond?