February 24, 2014
HOW TO BE MARRIED OR SINGLE (CHOOSE ONE ONLY!)
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Gordon Purcey
Central Truth
God endorses (and encourages) us to enjoy sexual intimacy within the context of marriage and with the goal of being people who live in purity.
Key Verse | 1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Principles for Marriage
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 1 7:6 Or I say this: 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you 2 7:15 Some manuscripts us to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Dive Deeper | 1 Corinthians 7:1-16
In ancient Greece, there was a seriously bad notion going around that "spiritual" things were good and "physical" things were bad. This became so prevalent that some early Christians began wondering if, in order to be more godly, perhaps they should (1) abstain from sexual intimacy within marriage, (2) remain single, or (3) divorce an unbelieving spouse. So, they sent those questions to Paul.
If you've ever felt that Scripture is too vague and unrealistic to be helpful in real life, be prepared to have that idea shattered. In today's passage, Paul's response to these questions gives us specific and important principles God wants us to know and practice.
His first answer is that sexual abstinence in marriage is NOT good. In fact, we are told, "[D]o not deprive one another . . . ." (verse 5) Within marriage, we don't have authority over our own bodies. Our spouse does. Think of marriage as creating a sexual "debt" that we owe each other. (Hey, this is God saying this!) However, before we start making demands of each other, always remember the point here is the same as in Ephesians 5:20-21. The context of our sexual intimacy is one of thanksgiving to God and mutual submission, which tends to rule out the notion of making a "demand." Notice that intimacy in marriage and purity go hand-in-hand!
Paul also says we should hold singleness in high esteem. Yet, it is not more spiritual to remain single. It is okay to marry. Again, the goal is purity.
Finally, regarding unbelieving spouses, Paul's answer is to remain married as long as they will have you. Why? You might be the influence that brings them (and your children) to Christ! Note that even though this is Paul speaking, and not the Lord directly, it is still instruction from God. Paul also reminds us in verses 10-11 that Jesus taught we should not divorce. If you are considering that, reread this passage!
In summary, whether we are single or married, and whether our spouse is believing or not, our goal is to live a life of purity.
Discussion Questions
1. Discuss with your spouse what purity looks like in sexual intimacy.
2. Discuss with your spouse what sexual intimacy looks like in the context of thanksgiving to God and mutual submission.
3. It's been said that Satan's strategy is to encourage intimacy outside of marriage, and discourage intimacy within marriage. Why would Satan do that?
4. If you are single, discuss with your community group and/or the person you are dating what purity looks like in the context of being single.
5. How has God designed marriage, and sexual intimacy in particular, to lead us into deeper spiritual intimacy with our Heavenly Father?