October 16, 2009
Central Truth
God designed sex so we could know and experience His goodness.
I am my beloved's,
and he desires me!
(Song of Solomon 7:10)
1
How beautiful are your feet in sandals,
O noble daughter!
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
the work of a master hand.
2
Your navel is a rounded bowl
that never lacks mixed wine.
Your belly is a heap of wheat,
encircled with lilies.
3
Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
4
Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are pools in Heshbon,
by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,
which looks toward Damascus.
5
Your head crowns you like Carmel,
and your flowing locks are like purple;
a king is held captive in the tresses.
6
How beautiful and pleasant you are,
O loved one, with all your delights!
1
7:6
Or among delights
7
Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
8
I say I will climb the palm tree
and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,
9
and your mouth
2
7:9
Hebrew palate
like the best wine.
It goes down smoothly for my beloved,
gliding over lips and teeth.
3
7:9
Septuagint, Syriac, Vulgate; Hebrew causing the lips of sleepers to speak, or gliding over the lips of those who sleep
10
I am my beloved's,
and his desire is for me.
11
Come, my beloved,
let us go out into the fields
and lodge in the villages;
4
7:11
Or among the henna plants
12
let us go out early to the vineyards
and see whether the vines have budded,
whether the grape blossoms have opened
and the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
13
The mandrakes give forth fragrance,
and beside our doors are all choice fruits,
new as well as old,
which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.
How do you awaken desire in your spouse and capture a night of oneness with him/her? Recite Solomon's powerful and romantic love song? Create your own lyrics describing both your spouse's physical beauty and what you find attractive and intoxicating about him/her? When I hear words that make me feel beautiful and affirmed, doors unlock, and walls crumble. I wish I were as comfortable responding with equally powerful words, and my husband does too.
Two years ago, the Song of Solomon sounded more like a bad rap song to me. I didn't trust sensual words from my husband or allow them to feel safe and loving. Through my distorted lens, sex seemed dark, dirty, dangerous, and, sadly, my duty. There was no "freedom" to find pleasure in sex because of a history of unhealthy experiences and choices. Did God really expect ME to ENJOY sex or respond with passion to my husband's romantic pursuits? AND I was paralyzed by the thought of initiating like the Shulammite woman.
What changed my heart? I spent years unraveling lies Satan had wrapped around it. At times, I thought it would be better to leave it in the dark, like leaving a sharp object in your flesh because removing it would hurt more. Wounds were exposed, emotions were released, and the medicine of God's Truth healed the untended, hurtful wound. I had believed sex was a tool that made a man love me, meeting his selfish love language, instead of believing I was created to enjoy, even pursue, this deep physical intimacy and vulnerability. I believed the lie that no one would ever "genuinely" love me or seek my best interest, especially related to sex. Not God and not my husband. Slowly, I trusted God, understanding He had designed me to simply feel His goodness and pleasure . . . and I began to trust Scott.
No one wants to read my poems or hear me sing, trust me. But I will confidently invite my lover to journey with me soon--to the vineyard, or even the ocean. Yes, I love the ocean.
1. What faulty beliefs (lies) prevent you from enjoying God's goodness and blessings?
2. Do you make it a priority to let your spouse know the ways you find him or her desirable?
3. What is something you can do today to bless or affirm your spouse?